The loss of a family pet can be a traumatic time for everyone, but the grief can be especially difficult for children. Death is a tough topic for many parents to discuss with their kids, but it's an important conversation to have. Often, the death of a family pet is a child's first real experience with loss, and it lends parents an opportunity to emerge as role models for their children to prepare them for life's unexpected turns.

Child development specialist and licensed counselor Diane Cantrell says no matter how young they are, children need to know that the grieving process is normal. Many times, kids don't have the language or ability to conceptualize the feelings that they are going through, and they look to their parents for guidance.

Cantrell recently authored a children's picture book, "Goodbye, Baby Max" (Bridgeway Books, February 2008) as a tool for parents to discuss loss and death with young kids. Along with original illustrations, "Goodbye, Baby Max" tells the story of a kindergarten class that loses their classroom pet, a baby chick named Max who never hatched from his shell. With the help of their teacher, Mrs. B, the students learn to express their feelings and plan a special goodbye.


Also a former pre-k/kindergarten teacher, Cantrell says there are three important things that parents and teachers can do to help children deal with painful loss:

1. Listen, validate and reassure. Be patient in answering repeated questions and assure children that it is normal for them to feel mad, sad, or afraid and tearful. If your child expresses worry or sadness, you can provide validation by telling them that you feel sad as well. While acknowledging feelings, be sure to let the child know that, even though the feelings may be overwhelming, they can handle them.

2. Observe. Play close attention to your child's play, artwork and behavior, for these are the blueprints to their feelings and concerns. Remember, children ages 4 to 6 don't have the language to express complex emotions but do so through their play and behavior. Notice any themes that may emerge in your child's play and artwork. Also be aware of behavior changes such as increased aggressiveness, anger or withdrawal. These are signs that your child is having a difficult time with the loss.

3. Engage. Provide opportunities to engage your child in conversation about the loss. Reading fictional picture books that address grief and loss can serve as valuable springboards for discussion. Having your child tell about their artwork can also lead to meaningful interactions. Assist the child in planning a special good-bye for their pet. It may be a traditional funeral or a memorial in which the children draw pictures for the pet, make gifts, and or take a special walk in the pet's honor. Children have many good ideas about how they wish to say good-bye to their special family friend. Be sure to ask, listen, and assist in the implementation of these ideas. 



About the Author:
Diane Cantrell is a licensed counselor and former pre-k/kindergarten teacher. She recently authored a children's picture book, "Good-bye, Baby Max" (Bridgeway Books, February 2008) as a tool for parents to discuss loss and death with young kids.

Review by Lillian Brummet 

Good-bye Baby Max (ISBN#978-1-933538-95-2)

"Good-bye, Baby Max" by Diane Cantrell with illustrations by Heather Castles (Bridgeway Books, $16.95) is a tender story about death, a tough topic for young children. Kindergarteners eagerly await spring and the hatching of the class' three chick eggs. But one chick, Max, dies. What ensues is a gentle exploration of grief and its many expressions -- from tears to songs to artwork. At the end, the surviving chicks' peeps encourage the children to embrace the living without forgetting the dead.

MICHELE SIUDA JACQUES, the mother of two young sons, is a copy editor at the Free Press. She can be reached at msiuda@freepress.com.

Reviewed by Carole McDonnell

Good-bye, Baby Max
Written by Diane Cantrell
Illustrated by Heather Castles
Bridgeway Books
www.goodbyebabymax.com
ISBN: 978-1-933538-95-2
$16.95

Diane Cantrell, a former kindergarten teacher and a grief facilitator with degrees in education and counseling, has put much of her knowledge about grief into a sweetly illustrated book on dealing with grief.

The story begins in a season all kindergarteners are aware of. Spring. Children in Mrs B’s class are learning about growth and beginnings by planting seeds and hatching eggs. But then the unexpected happens and an emergency occurs. Baby Max, one of the hatchlings the children have been waiting to hatch, seems to be having trouble being born. Although his brother and sister, Dora and Spiderman, are as healthy as can be…his attempts to break through his shell are feeble. There is a rush to the veterinary hospital but unfortunately Mrs B returns the next day with the bad news: Baby Max did not survive. (Okay, some astute child might ask why Mrs B didn’t help Max out of the shell, but that is not likely to happen.)

Understandably, the children are upset. Their hearts were set on Max and although they hadn’t really seen him, they are grieving at the unexpected loss. Mrs B then arranges a grief ceremony which the children themselves create. Max is memorialized, buried, and with the help of Dora and Spiderman the children learn that life is still beautiful and life goes on.

First thing I’ll say is that this book is very multicultural. Children of all races appear in these wonderfully-illustrated pages. The second thing is that fortunately the trauma surrounding Max’s death comes fairly quickly. There isn’t a lingering buildup or a lingering drawn-out dying scene. The memorial also comes and goes fairly quickly. In fact, the book seems quite short –about twelve or so pages.

The rhyme is unobtrusive, unremarkable, and unnoticeable for adult standards. But kids will love it. And this is a book for kids. The words are common ones kids hear everyday….so kindergarteners will not struggle with terms and some first and second graders might be able to read it.

The drawings seem to be pastel crayons. I checked the information sheet to see what kind of media was used but am not quite sure. The emotion in the faces engages the reader and any child will easily understand it. Even the ladybugs weep for little Max.

The story is transferable to real life without being overly pushy and terrifying to children. Teachers could definitely use this book to discuss the arc of life and death should any of their students suffer a sudden emotional loss. I highly recommended this book for 3 to 7 year olds and for children in special education classes.

www.preschoolentertainment.com

Good-bye, Baby Max

by Diane Cantrell

Max, a class pet, dies and the class has to deal with their loss.

Mrs. B's kindergarten class anxiously awaited the arrival of three baby chicks, which they have already named. But Max, the last one to hatch, doesn't make it into the world. The next morning, Mrs. B has to break the sad news to the class. The rest of the story, told in rhyming text, shows how the children and the teacher handle their grief. “Silence falls over the room. Liz and Rob begin to cry. ‘Don't worry,’ says Mrs. B. ‘We'll find a way to say good-bye.’”

This simple and tender story takes a look at an occurrence that most every child, unfortunately experiences at least once during their childhood - the death of a class pet or a pet of their own. The colorful illustrations by Heather Castles are soft and muted, adding to the seriousness of the subject. The expressions on the faces of the multi-cultural children are precious and touching.

This a a great book for any young child experiencing a loss, especially appropriate for ages 4 through 8. This is a difficult subject to approach with a young child and this book would ease that conversation.

Title: Good-bye, Baby Max
Author: Diane Cantrell
Publisher: Bridgeway Books
ISBN: 9781933538952
Review written by: Janet Pope
Reviewer's Rating:9

http://thecelebritycafe.com/books/full_review/1205.html 

Good-bye, Baby Max

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE                                                             
Contact: Cody Goehring (512) 478-2028 x219 
 Teacher’s pet: Classroom animals teach valuable lessons
To help kids, counselor shares true story about classroom pet who passes away  
SAN ANTONIO – Students in a Texas kindergarten class experienced a sad day when their teacher told them that Max, their classroom pet chick, had died. What the students and administrators didn’t realize, however, was that this experience helped instill a valuable lesson that can’t be found in textbooks.  

In fact, the Humane Society reports that thousands of classrooms every year elect to adopt a pet because of the unique lessons they can teach children. According to Psychiatric Times, there are at least four main advantages a child gains from having frequent contact with a pet: building trust, encouraging self-control, promoting a sense of industry and providing emotional support. 

Diane Cantrell, a licensed professional counselor specializing in children for more than 18 years, says interaction with a pet can teach children many aspects of life they will encounter, as they grow older. Cantrell, who taught kindergarten and pre-k students for seven years before counseling, captured Max’s story in a new children’s picture book, Good-bye, Baby Max (Bridgeway Books, February 2008, $16.95, 978-1-933538-95-2).  

Much like the real events, Good-bye, Baby Max shares the story of one kindergarten teacher who helps her class cope with the loss of their classroom pet. When Max, one of three baby chicks, is unable to break free from his shell, Ms. B must help her class plan a special good-bye for their lost friend, as well as address the class’s questions and fears about death. 

“With more and more studies showing how interaction with animals can benefit children, many teachers are starting to bring pets into their classroom,” says Cantrell, who holds a master’s in mental health counseling. “Good-bye, Baby Max demonstrates how classroom pets, as well as pets in general, can introduce children to many important life principles that are not traditionally addressed in school or at home.”

 Good-Bye, Baby Max helps children:
·        Learn the responsibility of caring for a pet
·        Understand the reality of life and death
·        Learn how to say “good-bye” to those they love
·        Acknowledge that it’s ok to cry
·        Move on with life after the death of a loved one 

Cantrell earned her bachelor’s degree in elementary and kindergarten education from Trinity University in 1975. After earning her master’s degree in mental health counseling from St. Mary’s University in 1991, she began providing therapy and crisis counseling to families and children at the Bexar County Women’s Center. Cantrell currently provides counseling for children with emotional disabilities, as well as parent education and support groups. Additionally, she works as a life coach who helps clients clarify their life goals, manage stress and deal with life transitions. In the past, Cantrell has worked as a counselor for pregnant teens and as a therapist for nursing home residents. She lives in San Antonio with her husband, Rich, and their three dogs, Precious, Sunday and Mr. Lee. 

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To request a review copy of Good-bye, Baby Max, or to set up an interview with Diane Cantrell,
please call - 210-632-4147